one man’s trash is probably just trash

My name is Nicole, and in my spare time, I do exciting things like accompanying my mom to car washes.

… That’s actually not true. The car wash part, I mean. I haven’t gone to one for months, which is perhaps fortunate, because on an excitement scale of 1 to parasailing, a car wash ranks a 2.7 and I don’t think I can handle anything above a 4.

You know what, at this point, I can’t even tell if that was supposed to be sarcastic or not.

But anyway, this time, when Mom asked (forced) me to tag along, I was actually pumped, because the other day, I’d read an article—on the Internet, so obviously it must be true—about the strangest things people have found in used cars. Someone, believe it or not, actually happened across a multi-carat diamond ring!

So I figured this might be my calling. After all, when I was younger, I once watched a couple minutes of Jurassic Park and decided I wanted to become an archaeologist. Clearly, I had a deep-rooted passion for discovering and unearthing treasures; can you blame me for having high hopes?

(The article also mentioned other people finding less desirable things like moldy sandwiches and dead bodies, but, if that were the case, I surely would’ve smelled something by now.)

Of course, I was reasonable. The chances of me finding rare commodities were slim, so I just set my sights on recovering items presumed lost but still semi-valuable to me.

Lost Things I’d Hoped to Find in the Car

  1. My spare keys
  2. Change
  3. 10,000 misplaced pencils
  4. My marbles
  5. My self esteem

What I Actually Found in the Car

  1. Three full water bottles
  2. A miniature pterodactyl
  3. So much white fur it was practically my entire cat
  4. Junk
  5. More junk

One man’s trash is another man’s garbage, I guess. Maybe you’ll have more luck?


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