when will my reflection show

There are few things I detest more than writing reflections. By “reflections,” I mean the kind of question like “what have you learned” or “how has this process made you a better person” you generally find tacked onto the end of an assignment at 2AM in the morning, after you thought you were already finished with the blasted thing.

Although that makes more of a case for why you should read directions carefully and not leave things until the last minute, so maybe that’s what I should be writing instead of “nothing” or “I am intrinsically irredeemable.”

I abhor written reflections, but since it’s Sunday night and I should have started my science notes and gone to bed hours ago and I am currently experiencing the bleak despair that typically accompanies being forced to reflect on what I have learned, I believe that now is the perfect time to write one.

A Surprisingly Voluntarily-Written Reflection

Over this past week, I have learned that…

1. Resumes take a surprisingly long time to create. I spent hours on mine, most of which were a) spent needlessly agonizing over uncooperative bullet points, b) cursing Microsoft Word, and c) wondering how the entire past four years of my life could be reduced to a single sheet of paper.
2. Cat enjoys positioning herself in places where I can’t see her, like under my desk, so that I’ll accidentally kick her in the face and she can sneer at me in contempt while I plead for her forgiveness.
3. I’m getting fatter. It might be because I eat fries every night, among other reasons.
4. Other reasons including, but not limited to: eating six slices of macaroni & cheese, spinach, stuffed, alfredo, and garlic pizza, saying “I’m full,” and proceeding to consume two more slices and a bowl of soup. (Today, at Cici’s Pizza.) Yes, that’s only one reason, but it’s probably the only one you need.
5. Watching a Ted Talk on how to be a calmer person does not a calmer person make. Later that day, after copy-pasting college essays into my online application through various programs and seeing the tabs disappear every single time, I forgot everything I’d learned and proceeded to methodically smash my head into the wall.

… I hope you all have been faring better lately than I have, at least.