Estimating the distance between my toes and the edges of furniture.
Remembering not to engage my cat in staring contests because SHE HAS A THIRD EYELID. And also no morals.
Trusting that the garage door is closed.
Trusting that there is, in fact, no one behind the shower curtain.
Combining my 30+ passwords into one.
Acquiring life skills.
Not eating while stressed or while recovering from a four-course meal.
Not constantly imagining different scenarios in which I could die.
Not investing so much into fictional characters.
Finding a sleeping position from which I can wake up with functioning limbs.
Not unintentionally eavesdropping on the conflict-resolution meeting two blonde girls are having at the Starbucks table next to me, even if the conversation starts with a promising “It was two shots of vodka, and I only hate you because…”
Making excuses. I need to make more interesting excuses.
Not feeling obligated to finish boring YouTube videos.
Not blaming others, which, I feel the need to mention, is a habit I could only have inherited.
Leading a more interesting life. I mean, deep down, a part of me wants to go back to school, if only for its wealth of blog material.