My Best and Also Worst Halloween Costume

Once I got too tall for socially acceptable trick-or-treating, I stopped caring about Halloween. I mean, what more was there to it beyond candy? For the past who knows how many years, my mom and I have spent one night annually hiding in the kitchen with all the other lights out, having somehow managed to forget to buy candy every single time Halloween rolled around.

Basically, I wasn’t aware that Halloween was such a big deal until Friday night, when I saw a girl across the street dressed as a sexy watermelon.

sexy-watermelon-costume-5375
Creative genius.

12 AM Friday, I decided to go with my friends to a Halloween party and got to work coming up with a low commitment costume idea. By which I mean Googling low commitment Halloween costume. The results were even lazier costumes than I’d expected, and I didn’t have thick enough skin to pull any off. (I did think that holding a bat to convey Batman was hilarious but then remembered that I wasn’t a man.)

I’d narrowed my choices down to “frat boy” (sideways baseball cap, button up, khaki shorts, red solo cup, Sperrys) and “Nickelback” (nickels taped to back). Upon realizing that I was a college student with a limited wardrobe, I settled on the latter.

“Oh my God,” I shouted at 1 AM, to my roommate’s consternation. “I could be… NICOLE-BACK.”

She smiled. “You’re ridiculous. I love it.”

See, I can always count on her to support my terrible decisions.

I then texted at least thirty people asking for donations of spare nickels to my cause. No one ended up giving me any nickels because such is the life of college students.

3PM Friday, after early voting (GO VOTE), I began to craft, finding materials as I went along. The whole project took approximately two hours to complete, which is coincidentally the same amount of time from my life that I’ll never get back.

On our way back from the party that night, I happened upon one of my friends. “What’re you dressed as?” she asked.

I held up my sign and watched her internal struggle for words.

“Not all heroes wear capes,” she managed, finally.


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9 thoughts on “My Best and Also Worst Halloween Costume

  1. I’m all about ‘low commitment’ creative ideas. Avoid ‘high commitment’ at any cost. It’s always embarrassing when people don’t respond with a level of enthusiasm in any way commensurate with the amount of effort you obviously put into it.

    Like

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