I’m not religious, but even as a heathen there are still some commandments I observe. Thou shalt not commit murder, unless he was asking for it. Thou shalt Urban Dictionary slang before thou ask. And thou shalt not covet thy roommate’s food. You see where this is going. During the two weeks my roommate was … More Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Roommate’s Food
Hot take: I think entertainment shouldn’t make me want to die. I avoid horror movies like I do near-acquaintances in malls—when going to malls didn’t mean you were potentially sentencing others to immeasurable suffering… used to be only yourself—by practicing my belief that if I can’t see them, they can’t see me. Maybe I’d get … More The Guy In Our Attic
When Grandpa suggested a trip to a ranch with no animals, I figured it was a front for a money laundering scheme, like Mattress Firm, probably.* What kind of ranch has no animals? Isn’t “breeding livestock” what defines a ranch? Either there was something shady going on or the business owner was a visionary in … More The Ranch With No Animals
You would think that, after an entire life’s worth of exchanging small talk, I would’ve learned that when you ask people “how was your weekend?,” they answer and then ask you it back. The expectation of my response catches me by surprise, every. Single. Time. As I dispatch my last two brain cells to recollect … More My 12 Defining Moments of 2018: Blog Highlights
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